


bird

by theworldgen



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: mental health (?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22244137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theworldgen/pseuds/theworldgen
Summary: I've been holding onto this for a few days now. I wrote it as soon as I woke up the morning after I heard the news.Not the happiest stuff to read.(I did very little editing after the first draft, so it's quite raw.).
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	bird

**Author's Note:**

> I've been holding onto this for a few days now. I wrote it as soon as I woke up the morning after I heard the news.
> 
> Not the happiest stuff to read.
> 
> (I did very little editing after the first draft, so it's quite raw.)  
> .

Haseul looked out her window. She saw the whitest pigeon she’d ever seen. Normally, she would’ve been scared, but there was something about it that Haseul could relate to. She thought it was trapped. Just like her. She’d always thought that birds were free. They could do whatever they wanted, fly as far as they pleased, see lots of different places, lots of different people. Maybe that’s what she was scared of. Freedom. Haseul thought pursuing her dream of becoming a singer would give her the freedom she desired. After long years of preparation, auditions, training, and sleepless nights, she had finally made it. She had debuted as a singer, alongside eleven other wonderful girls. She’d thought music equaled freedom. She’d been so naïve. There was nothing about her current situation that would resemble being free.

Birds were free. But this little fellow made her think otherwise. It was walking up and down the sidewalk, pecking the ground in search of a few crumbs to subsist, dodging feet of busy passers−by that wouldn’t spare a glance to the distressed animal. Just like her. That whole picture made Haseul feel sympathy towards the small creature. In that moment, they were pretty similar.

A knock on the door.

“Haseul, sweetie, I’m going to run some errands. Do you want to come?”

Haseul would’ve usually said yes. Being outside, keeping herself occupied, was best for stopping her mind from running wild with thoughts.

“No, thanks”, she replied with her characteristic soft-spoken voice.

Her mother gave her a worried look, but didn’t say anything else. She nodded her head, turned around and closed the door behind her.

Haseul knew it wasn’t easy on her either. She took the biggest hit, but the people she loved were affected by it as well. And Haseul felt frustrated about it, as she didn’t want to see them suffer because of her.

Those are the same exact thoughts her therapist told her to avoid.

She looked back out her window again, but the small creature was gone. Wings would make anyone feel in control. You can start anew somewhere far from where you had your old life. That was a tempting idea, though the thought of leaving her family, her friends, her members behind didn’t sit well with Haseul.

The problem, however, wasn’t leaving. Her prison wasn’t a physical prison. It was something she carried within her. It was her mind. As much as she wanted to run away, that same feeling would be inside her, eating her, making her fear. Fear freedom.

She felt like a bird that’s been caged its entire life. One day, its owner decides to open the gates and let it free. The bird happily flies out and leaves its owner behind, only to find out that it can’t survive on its own. It’s been so limited for so long, that it doesn’t know how to be free, so it has to come back. And it does.

Haseul couldn’t escape. That scared her just as much as being liberated.

Haseul grabbed a pen and a notebook, sat on her bed, legs crossed, and started drawing. She needed to take her mind out of that. After less than a minute, she ripped the page out of the notebook, put her drawing materials on her desk and sat on the slightly-sunken spot in her bed. She contemplated her little creation with a smile and was unable to contain a giggle.

Ever since she could remember, Haseul had been drawing birds the same way, just as her father had taught her when she had been a lot younger. That chubby figure with the round feathers and the thin legs. It was cute. Weirdly enough, that funny-looking doodle made Haseul feel safe. Finally.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> It feels rushed and unfinished, but I hope you can enjoy it nonetheless.
> 
> I'm excited about the comeback. Let's show our love and support for the girls more than ever.
> 
> BUT most importantly, let's take care of ourselves and of each other. If you need it, take time. Please do.
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated :)


End file.
